Woooopwoooop

Woop.
Lived here for 3 weeks now, it's OK, a little lonely in the daytime though.
I literally have so much self-hatred rn, it is insane.
Control.
Control.
Control.

That's secretly the fuel on the hatefire.
The ULTIMATE.

All we seek.

I can't control anything anymore.

And it is so fucked because I am in such a happy relationship.
I mean, i actually love her.
She treats me like an absolute princess, awh I literally have the best time with her.
Like my life is so foggy rn, and shes the light at the end.
Couldn't imagine my weirdo life without her. <3

I'm losing weight again.

Feel so ill typing this, been awake most of the night with stomach pains.
That's my stomach starting to close again.

Not kept a meal down in a week, literally not kept a single bit of food down.
22 pounds i've lost since we moved here.

Fucking love it.

Making me feel so ill and miserable and in pain, but at the same time it's so addictive, i crave it.